How I Learned to Forgive and Let Go

Forgiving someone and letting go is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Through the years, I experienced moments of trial and error, where I thought I had forgiven someone, but when an offense occurred, all the pain from the past resurfaced and became entwined with my current pain. All those negative emotions weighed so heavily on me. So, I began reading and conducting research until I discovered a few techniques that actually enabled me to heal.

Love vs. Attachment

The first time I heard this comparison was in Rhonda Byrne The Greatest Secret. She explained in her book how love is free and attachment is bondage. She further explains the negative feelings associated with attachment. On the other hand, positive emotions are associated with love. These are two different components that we often connect when one is not associated with the other. If you are someone who's heartbroken or you have experienced the death of a loved one, focusing on the love and the good times instead of the attachment may help.

How to Focus on Love

Focusing on love can be challenging, especially after a past relationship or a traumatic experience. My ex and I experienced so much trauma in our past relationship together. Just the thought of how the breakup happened was traumatizing for me. The cheating and deceit were so painful. All of this weighed so heavily on my shoulders.

One day, I got a notebook. In it, I wrote Qualities I love about my Ex. I wrote all his beautiful qualities I could remember about him. Then I wrote about the fun memories we shared. The pain and all the negative emotions turned into love. So now when I think about him. I can genuinely say I love him. If you're looking to achieve forgiveness and let go, as I did, I encourage you to give this a try. Don't worry about how hard it seems or the tough feelings that might come up. It's worth it.

God Is Love

This sounds crazy, uh. It's not as I thought after I gave it more thought. This is how God loves. God does not keep account of how many times He has forgiven us. Instead, he focuses on our good qualities. We are made in God's image. As we know, God is love. There you have it: when we do this, we love the way God loves. Remember, love is free. Allow yourself to love freely, and it's okay to say I love you.

Conclusion

So, whenever anger, pain, or sadness arise, I first ask myself if I am feeling good or bad. If I'm feeling bad, I know the emotion links to attachment. If I feel good, it's associated with love. To redirect any negative feelings, I turn to my notebook and reread all the excellent qualities I've written about that person, whether it's from a past relationship or concerning a loved one. Immediately, these negative emotions make a shift. By actively applying these practices, forgiveness and letting will become easier day by day.